Unconditional Love

Harper: i accept you even though you are unwilling to try certain foods

12:25 PM Brooke: It must be love :)

 Harper: i lied i don't really accept that you are unwilling to try things which might be delicious

  this is something you're gonna have to work on

12:26 PM i even tried a hamburger!!

 Brooke: Ass.

High Hopes

Brooke: ...that cant be real, right? 
Harper: that we are going to make less than a stripper?
Brooke: ...well.. now im depressed

Wind Talkers

Brooke: My brothers killing me. He's talking about spreading his butt cheeks when he farts

 Harper: awesome

5:00 PM Brooke: Apparently it makes them silent??

  I laughed so hard. He's shocked that I've never done it

 Harper: farting is like a family thing for you guys isn't it

5:01 PM won't it look conspicuous?

5:02 PM Brooke: Apparently he just twitches and does it quickly

5:03 PM Harper: he's a pro at it then?

 Brooke: Yep

5:04 PM And yes. We are a family of darters

  Farters lol. Stupid autocorrect

Harper Watches Dinocroc

*Warning: Contains Spoilers.

Harper: I'm watching Dinocroc and so far its terrible
Brooke: But not in a good way?
Harper: Well so far there's a really fast crocodile-like thing and military music
Brooke: Hahah military music?
              Like lots of drums?
Harper: Also, it's possible I owe you a bag of cheetos
Brooke: Lol figured
Harper: And now there's chant music in dinocroc
              Well they'll be some left when you get her but they'll probably be stale... figure you wouldn't want to eat those
Brooke: I will if I'm desperate (drunk/high)
Harper: So what you're saying is that you definitely will?
Brooke: Yea. But I obviously prefer non stale
Harper: Wait I might be watching a different movie now
Brooke: Weird
Harper: It's like a whole new cast but everyone is still talking about a crocodile
              ...Maybe its a sequel or something
              With some weird environmental message
              ...but not about crocodiles cuz those are obviously bad
              Wait I think this movie takes place in Russia!
              And they say crocodile but it looks more like a dragon to me
              There's a child in this movie but I can't figure out why he's relevant
              I recognize one lady from the beginning of the movie but I think she was part of the environmental message
Brooke: Are you drinking?
Harper: Haha no!
              I'm high!
Brooke: Lol makes sense
Harper: The kid has a three legged dog, but are how this is related to dinocrocs
              There's also a convenient swamp nearby
Brooke: Nice
Harper: OMG its Godzilla-dinocrock!
              Someone built a house out of some dinocroc-resistant wood, the boy is safe
              ...I lied about that last part
              The croc totally ate him
              They play devil chant music
              You know at times this crocodile like a little t-rex like
Brooke: I know, you mentioned
Harper: Oh...=(
              The crocodile also suffers from double vision
Brooke: Hahah poor croc
Harper: I think Gregorian master of chant did the soundtrack to this
Brooke: Oh ok
Harper: Also why are all these sea creatures always behind the person in the water
Brooke: I'm going to bed, gnight

Ass Good Ass It Gets

Harper: ok so 2 things

  1 this video is sooo not what i imagined it to be

  and 2 why is this a competition??

 Brooke: hahahahahaha

 Harper: ...its japanese isnt it

 Brooke: korean, obviously

2:54 PM they're definition of entertainment is.. odd

 Harper: to say the least

  like how much practice do these guys have

 Brooke: do you think his ass is bruised constantly?

 Harper: do they waste a ton of walnuts or do they pick them up and eat them after "practice"?

2:55 PM Brooke: hahahahaha, but would you want to eat ass walnuts?

 Harper: if they were my ass walnuts?....maybe

 Brooke: i'd eat your ass walnuts too

 Harper: you would!

Instant Karma

Brooke:  haha yea

               i think its really funny

Harper:  why are you being so nice to me today?

              that's the second nice thing you said

              what do you want?

              what did you do?

Brooke:  how dare you!

Harper:  i'm sick!

              are you really yelling at a sick person?

Brooke:  yea, its what you want apparently

Harper:  i'm sooo gonna sneeze all over you next time i see you

Brooke:  i literally gasped at that remark!

Harper:  hehe

Brooke:  GRUMBLE GRUMBLE

               FUCK i just spilled porridge all over my office!!!

Harper:  oh no

              Instant Karma!

Brooke:  FUCK OFF

               I'LL NEVER BE MEAN TO SICK PEOPLE AGAIN

Validation

Harper: apparently the smarter you are the more likely you are to use psychoactive drugs

  ...and also abuse alcohol

12:41 AM Brooke: I'm ok with this statistic

Dirty Girl

Brooke: I didn't know you liked rum & cokes
Harper: I don't normally but I didn't even realize they gave it to me
I guess I do like rum and come when its heavy on  the rum
Brooke: Hahah rum and come ;)
Harper: Haha I didn't notice that
Brooke: Dirty girl!

Drunk Surrender

Brooke: do you have work tomorrow?

 Harper: at 4:30

  but not in the morning!!

Brooke: you should come home with me :D

 Harper: perhaps....we'll see how drunk you get me

 Brooke: ahme

  ahem

7:59 PM ahem

  ah ah ahem

Truths

Brooke: detox? Harper: detox!

  i dont want any more fried foods

  i dont want any more alcohol

 Brooke: same

 Harper: i drank sooooo much yesterday

 Brooke: yes you did!

11:11 AM Harper: i had 5 drinks in the afternoon and 6 at night

  though I am surprisingly not hung over today

 Brooke: wow. i am very surprised you arent hungover!

 Harper: did i text you anything stupid?

  yea i feel fine except my body hates me a little bit

 Brooke: nothing toooo stupid

 Harper: oh no

11:12 AM what does that mean

Brooke: nah, just silly typos

  and we established that i was ass whore or something like that

 Harper: you are ass whore!

11:13 AM Brooke: yea yea

Bed Invader

1:52 PM Harper: you are going home today right?

 Brooke: Haha yes. Why?2:09 PM Harper: i'm just familiar with your talentssuch as greeting me in my bed at midnight....which sounds kinda gay but you know what i mean

2:18 PM Harper: are you asleep???

 Brooke: Hahah that sounded super gay

  And I'm awake but barely

2:19 PM Sounded like you wanted me gone...ahem

Harper: i didn't say that

2:20 PM Brooke: Didn't say you said it. It was implied

2:21 PM Harper: i have nothing to say

2:22 PM Brooke: Mhmm

2:23 PM Harper: :D

 Brooke: Grumble grumble

2:24 PM 

 Harper: yea we'll see where you are when i'm coming back from work 

2:25 PM Brooke: (Also, what time might you be coming back from work..?)

 Harper: hahaha so you can run away just as i get there??

  probably 11:45/12

2:26 PM Brooke: I didn't say that

 Harper: you implied it

2:27 PM Brooke: I have nothing to say

2:31 PM Harper: mhmm

 Brooke: :D

Dreamscape

1:14 PM Brooke: hey!

1:15 PM Harper: hey!

  you were in my dream

  and you were a huge ithc!

  *bitch

1:16 PM Brooke: LOL!! nothing's changed, is ee

  i see